Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
