Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
