Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
bring money and cleavage
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
