i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
