bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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