Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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