she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
