We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
