i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
