He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
