Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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