her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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