she looked like the before picture.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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