That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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