i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
