Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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