I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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