U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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