wrigley field is MILF paradise
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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