adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
