i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
