She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
