"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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