I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
