So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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