Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize