So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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