My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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