hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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