He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
