what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
