i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
