hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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