if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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