I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
not ubering you a puppy
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
