If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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