Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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