Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
