like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
