apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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