I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
