A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
