After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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