Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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