i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
