I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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