this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
smell my finger.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
