Having a random hookup so left but love u
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize