Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Randomize
