They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
