he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
