I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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