i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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