don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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