Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My vagina just recognized that song.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
