based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
