First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
