I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
