So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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