I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
