Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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