Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
