my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He shit in the fireplace
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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