She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
