I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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