I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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