we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
