there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
